'enthu cutlets'

i realized what total twerp i was when i was 19 when today i saw mukuls tv shows- the shows that he conceptualized, scripted, hosted and co-edited for delhi doordarshan at the grand old age of 17 to 19. ‘childrens shows’ they were called and a bespectacled muki spoke in the stilted flowery way that was so common to the genre in front of those flat lit curtained or fake interior sets. the shows were on the glory of indian heritage, or the amazing possibilities of computers, or a genius delhi boy solving a complex puzzle or on the magic of western classical music. poor mukul seemed really embarrassed when we were watching these together. i dont see why... they were so earnest and sincere.

i do discern a tongue firmly in cheek as i type these and i must slap myself for this cynicism. who the hell am i to say anything? at the age of 17 while mukul had the guts to go ahead with what he was passionate about i was a silly little self obsessed shy thin pointless boy with absolutely no sense of self. even the other people in the shows- the precocious young boys and girls (anasuya- you too) were astonishing with their confidence and articulateness. in such company i used to shrivel up and fade into the background when i was younger, as i felt too inadequate to be seen. even today i seem to be surrounded by these brilliant young minds that make me constantly consider and reconsider things that i might in my senility have taken for granted.

yesterday i wrote adityas letter of recommendation, today ateyas, last month ninads and now tomorrow saurabh. they are all in their mid-twenties and are bustling bundles of energy and intelligence. ‘enthu cutlets’ is what vidya calls the type. all of them are heading for their masters next year. and hopefully will be back soon. meanwhile, will there be more of these mad minds that keep us all on the edge.. we sure hope so.